


Treat Me Like A Lover

by Caledonia



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beta Wanted, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, One Shot, just two boys being adorable idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 03:50:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14511924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caledonia/pseuds/Caledonia
Summary: Merlin asks Arthur to treat him like he would treat one of his lovers. Arthur reluctantly agrees, afraid that as he wines and dines his flatmate they might accidentally uncover the truth - that Arthur is in love with Merlin, and has been for a very long time.Or, basically, just two boys being adorable idiots.





	Treat Me Like A Lover

**Author's Note:**

> As usual I don't own rights to any of the characters and I'm not making money on this work. It hasn't been beta'd so my apologies if there's any typos - I tried my best.
> 
> The title and loose inspiration comes from a Will Joseph Cook song, Treat Me Like A Lover.

Arthur loved nothing more than spoiling his lovers. He never committed to any of them for very long, but they always enjoyed their time with Arthur and, in the ten years that he’d been dating, he’d never once had a bitter breakup. He treated each relationship like a contract, basically. He was honest from the start - I will move on after about ten months or so, but until then we’ll be exclusive and you’ll have all of my attention. He wooed them, he treated them like royalty. He made them feel like they were everything he cared about. He bought them expensive gifts and clothes. He took them to the best restaurants, and out to concerts and the theatre. He was generous and attentive in the bedroom. The only complaint he ever received, and this from almost all of his lovers, was that they were never allowed in his home. He'd had a few jokes that he was married with kids, but none of that teasing was ever very serious.

Arthur kept his home as a totally private place and he never let anyone in. Well, except Merlin, obviously, but Merlin didn’t count. Merlin was - what was Merlin? Arthur's roommate and best friend, obviously. Someone Arthur had known since University, and lived with almost as long. Someone Arthur considered to be a brother - - except that wasn’t quite right… What was Merlin? The person Arthur wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The person he could share everything with. The only person in all the world who never judged him or expected anything of him. So Merlin was his husband, basically. Except without exclusivity, commitment, or any kind of sexual relationship whatsoever.

Arthur had never tried anything on with Merlin for a lot of reasons. He knew that Merlin conducted relationships of his own, perhaps less elegant than Arthur’s dalliances, that was true, but no less varied. The main difference between Merlin’s partners and Arthur’s was that Merlin’s partners never seemed to treat him very well. Merlin always seemed to be quite miserable when he was in relationships, actually, and he was never really happy when they were finished, either. Arthur was convinced that it had everything to do with self worth; Merlin didn't seem to have any at all, and therefore his partners treated him like he was disposable. Arthur knew his partners were lucky to have his company, and they treated him accordingly as well. Arthur had spent years trying to make Merlin see how incredibly worthy he was but it never seemed to make any difference, and Merlin spent a lot of his time feeling generally heartbroken.

Arthur just assumed that everything would continue in exactly the same way it always had until the end of time. Or until Merlin finally found someone who appreciated him and left Arthur behind, whichever came first.

And everything did continue like normal, until the evening in late April when Arthur came home to find Merlin fairly tipsy and slumped over the edge of the kitchen counter. Wedged under his crooked arm was a heavily scribbled on bit of paper. At this point in time Arthur was unattached, having politely concluded a relationship a few days previous, but Merlin was happily attached in what was his longest, most stable relationship in years.

“What’s this?” Arthur asked, setting his briefcase down in the hallway and stepping out of his shoes.

“I have a proposition for you.” Merlin said, making a big show of searching for and then finding the paper on the counter.

Arthur continued towards the kitchen, forcing a smile. This was bound to have something to do with Merlin’s latest squeeze - a lovely guy named Edwin to whom Merlin was getting rather attached. Maybe Merlin was going to ask whether Edwin could come to their house at some point? Arthur chuckled to himself at the idea that Merlin would involve alcohol and a full page of notes in that sort of discussion. Arthur walked past Merlin and sat himself on the other barstool.

"Edwin left me for someone else.” Merlin said, and he held up a hand to stop Arthur from his usual sympathetic remarks. “Stop, I'm fine. But it did get me thinking and I’ve come up with an idea, so hear me out.” Merlin looked away from Arthur and cleared his throat, then he looked back and his blue eyes were so imploring that it was painful for Arthur to see. “I want to date you, Arthur.”

Arthur started to protest but Merlin stopped him. It looked like he had tears in his eyes. “Listen, please. I’m twenty-six years old and I’ve never been given a gift by a partner. I’ve never been taken to a fancy restaurant. I’ve never been treated like I was anyone important before. Never. I know I’ve never met the people you go out with, but you talk like they’re the only person in the entire world that matters to you. I know you treat them well. I know you appreciate them.” Merlin took a deep breath and slowed down a bit, “I want you to treat me like a lover. There doesn’t have to be a sexual component, that’s not what I’m getting at. I just… I just don’t want to feel like I’m replacable for once in my life. Please.”

Arthur stared at Merlin for a long time. It definitely was tears in his eyes, and, behind that, a deep self doubt that Arthur had spent years trying to eradicate. There were a lot of things Arthur wanted to say: _I buy you gifts all the time! We go out to eat all the time! You’re the most important person in my entire life - why do you think I won’t share you with anyone? Why do you think I insist on coming home to you at the end of every relationship I’ve ever had? I don’t want to be with those people I want to be with you!_ But he couldn’t just come out and say any of those things because he would sound like a lunatic. So, instead, he pretended to consider the proposition carefully, even going so far as to read the paper that Merlin had drawn up, bless him.

“Okay.” Arthur said, finally. “If you’re sure. But I want you to know that you can change your mind at any time and we’ll go back to being just flatmates, yeah?”

“You too. When you decide you’ve had enough of humouring me, you say the word.” Merlin said, smiling, “Maybe we should have a safe word or a code for when one of us has had enough, then it doesn't have to be a big deal.” Merlin considered, staring off into the distance.

“A safe word? I think we’re both adult enough to understand when we need to end the agreement.” Even as Arthur said it, he knew it was a lie, at least on his part, but Merlin was smiling.

Merlin thought for a while and then nodded. “Deal. So when’s our first date?”

“Ah, well, that’s not actually how I work, you see. There’s a whole wooing thing that needs to occur before I ask you out.” Arthur said, turning towards his bedroom.

“But, Arthur, this is just…”

“You say you want me to treat you like a lover and I have a method that I would like you to respect. Part of my method involves wooing before dating. It’s not exactly a My Terms Or Nothing situation but if you want the Full Arthur Pendragon Dating Package, you will need to trust me.”

“Fine. Okay, well, then, I look forward to being wooed.”

[--]

Arthur thought about the plan for a week before deciding to put anything into action. He wanted to give Merlin time to reconsider, if he wanted to, and he wanted to mentally prepare himself for the immensely difficult task ahead. How close to the line could Arthur go without crossing it? How long would it be before Merlin realised that Arthur was, and always had been, in love with him? And what would happen after that information was revealed? Didn’t Arthur risk losing Merlin forever? Yes, probably, but the tantalizing prospect of getting everything he’d ever wished for was just there, barely out of sight, and Arthur couldn’t stop thinking about it.

So, Merlin and he had slipped back into the normal routine, neither of them mentioning the discussion they had had, and both of them acting like nothing had happened.

Then Arthur decided it was time. He arrived at the cafe down the street a few minutes before he guessed Merlin would and he lingered by the door. A few minutes later he watched Merlin come in, head bowed, headphones on. Arthur stepped into the queue behind Merlin, not letting Merlin see him. Merlin took his headphones off long enough to order his drink and pay, his regular visits here obvious by his familiarity with the girl behind the till. He replaced his headphones before stepping down to the end of the counter to await his order. Luckily Merlin was completely engrossed and, as Arthur stepped up to the salesperson he just hoped that Merlin would stay preoccupied until Arthur left the shop.

“What’s your healthiest, least exciting breakfast option?” Arthur asked, leaning over the counter and speaking in a whisper.

“Um, apart from just fruit, you mean? Probably the porridge?” The girl said, looking thoroughly confused.

“Yes, perfect. One of those, please. And can you do me a favour and give it to that rather handsome fellow who placed his order before me?”

“Him?” The girl said, indicating Merlin who was still engrossed on his phone.

“Yes, please. Along with this.” Arthur grabbed one of their napkins and wrote on it: _The blue scarf suits you. Xx_ Then gave it to the salesperson who read it and smiled.

“It does suit him, doesn’t it?” The girl said, giggling. “I’ll give it to him, sure. Who should I say it’s from?”

“I’m Arthur.” Arthur said, reaching over to shake her hand, “I have a feeling you’ll be seeing a lot of me.” then he winked at her conspiratorially and left.

Arthur was eating his dinner in front of the television when Merlin came home from work. Merlin busied himself decompressing from the day and preparing something to eat and then he came and sat down at the opposite end of the sofa, as usual.

“Evening.” Arthur said, not looking away from the television, but turning to a news station which he knew Merlin preferred to what he’d been watching.

“Hey.” Merlin replied, tucking into his dinner. “How was your day?”

“Uneventful. Yours?”

“It was alright. Oh, you’ll never guess what happened,” Merlin didn’t look up from his food as he spoke, but he was smiling “someone bought me breakfast at the coffee shop this morning. Gwen, the girl who works there, says his name is Arthur and, apparently, he’s _dreamy_.”

“Dreamy, eh?” Arthur said, smiling, “Sounds like she knows her stuff.”

“Well, I never really got a look at him, but maybe if I see him again I can tell you myself whether or not he’s dreamy.”

“Was the breakfast nice?”

“Great, really healthy. You’d have hated it.” Merlin said, and the two of them laughed.

The next morning Arthur arrived early at the cafe hoping Gwen would be working again. She was, and she remembered him.

“I’ve never seen anyone’s ears turn that red before. It was adorable.”

“Well, I think they’ll be even redder this morning. Can you make me the drink he normally buys, please? In a takeaway cup, but I’ll take it at that table, there. And a cup of your strongest coffee for me, please.” Arthur paid and got his drinks, then he waited for Merlin to arrive, which he did a few minutes later. Gwen motioned towards where Arthur was sitting by the window and Merlin’s mouth quirked into a lopsided grin as he walked to join him at the table.

“Good morning. Can I take it that you’re the Arthur who bought me breakfast yesterday?”

“Good morning. And, yes, that was me. I’ve noticed you around here, and I thought to myself - anyone who can listen to Charles Mingus that loudly at this time of day is someone I think I’d like to get to know a little better. So I thought I’d start with a beverage today and see whether or not you’d like to meet me here again tomorrow morning. Say half past seven? Then we can talk about Charles Mingus and healthy volume levels for over-ear headphones.”

“I think I could probably manage that,” Merlin said, looking up at Arthur through his eyelashes. “Although might I petition for a tertiary topic? Why tea is a superior beverage to coffee at any time of day, but especially in the morning.”

“You claim that, but I will never be convinced.” Arthur said, laughing. “Now, I’m afraid I have to rush, I have an early meeting.” Arthur gathered his things and stood to leave.

“Thank you for my tea, Arthur.” Merlin said, standing as well and smiling.

Arthur reached for his hand and shook it, then held on for a few seconds too long, letting his thumb slide over Merlin’s skin. “I’m looking forward to meeting you here, tomorrow, Merlin. I hope you have an excellent day.” Then Arthur left, and Merlin’s ears were, indeed, as red as they’d ever been before.

Arthur's hand tingled all morning. Although he and Merlin spent a lot of time together, Arthur could probably count on one hand the times he'd touched Merlin’s skin - he avoided contact because he couldn't be trusted. It was the same reason Arthur never let himself look at Merlin properly, and why he had always maintained a strict two drink limit any time he knew he'd be home alone with Merlin - he couldn't be trusted not to try and kiss Merlin, or more.

So the handshake had been Arthur's way of relaxing his own strict boundaries. Because, at least for the duration of this proposition, there was a whole new set of rules.

Merlin was not home when Arthur got in late that night, and Arthur was too excited for the morning to concentrate on anything, so he played a few mind numbing video games and then went to bed early panicking that Merlin was avoiding him on purpose. In the morning he took longer than usual to get ready, dithering over which shirt to wear and which tie. It was ridiculous, because Merlin had seen him at his worst, but it was not more effort than he would have put in if he were trying to catch the attention of someone who didn’t already know him.

Merlin was already at the cafe when Arthur got there, sequestered at their table by the window. On the table was a startling array of tiny paper cups, all with lids on and numbers written on the side in bold marker pen. Arthur narrowed his eyes as he settled in his chair. “Good morning, Merlin. I’m very pleased to see you.”

“Likewise.” Merlin said, smiling. He clearly wasn’t going to explain about the tiny, numbered cups, so Arthur gestured at them with his eyebrow raised. “Oh, we’re conducting an experiment about the benefits of tea versus coffee - the tertiary topic, remember?”

“Of course, yes. Is this just a smart ploy to avoid discussing how deaf you’re going to be when you’re older if you don’t turn the volume down on your headphones?” Arthur asked and Merlin laughed a surprised, genuine laugh.

“You see right through me. Now, close your eyes.” Arthur did as he was told, imagining Merlin in his fingerless gloves doing whatever it was he was doing with the tiny paper cups. A second later he felt Merlin’s fingers close around his as he handed him a paper cup. “Keep your eyes closed, but take a drink.” Arthur did. “Okay,” Merlin said as he swapped cups, “Now this one.”

It went on like that for a few long minutes, Merlin cupping Arthur’s hands with his own, their fingers intertwining in an entirely distracting way - the sensation heightened by Arthur’s closed eyes. By the end, Arthur had tasted practically every type of tea the shop offered. There were some that were palatable, and others that were practically undrinkable. Merlin hadn’t explained any of them in any way, and when Arthur opened his eyes he had no idea which cups were which or, indeed, what they contained.

“The point of this was?” Arthur asked, totally confused. Merlin was buttoning his coat, and Arthur kept his eyes on his fingers as they deftly slid buttons into holes. He could feel the tips of his ears warming. He cleared his throat and stood up, too. Merlin gathered the cups and took them to the recycling bin, then came back to the table, a smile splitting his face.

“Right. The secondary point is something we’ll discuss when you call me tonight,” Merlin said, handing Arthur a business card with his mobile number scribbled on it, “And the primary point is to prove that you can be as suave as you like, but you won’t _always_ have the upper hand.”

Then Merlin winked at him in a lingering, suggestive way, and Arthur stood beside the table for a long few seconds after he left, watching him walk away down the street, turning back once, laughing.

Well, damn.

The rest of the morning Arthur spent thinking about the way Merlin had tricked him. He’d somehow managed to turn Arthur on to tea in the morning instead of his usual black coffee - his head felt clearer and he was more able to concentrate than normal. So, one point to Merlin. And Arthur was so busy concentrating on the feel of Merlin’s hands and his agile fingers that his productivity at work was way down despite his increased mental acuity. Two points to Merlin. Arthur also kept pulling out the business card and staring at the phone number written on the back. Which was ridiculous because Merlin had had the same mobile number since he got his first phone a million years ago and Arthur had had that number for years. But, still, it felt different now. Arthur was excited to call him later, even though they lived in the same flat. Three points to Merlin.  

Arthur got out of work later than usual because he hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything (work related) all day, and instead of taking the tube he decided to walk, to try and clear his head. He grabbed something to eat from a street vendor and started walking. He practiced five or six conversations in his head before he managed to dig his phone out and call Merlin.

“Hello?” Merlin answered, which was different from his usual, _what_.

“So, this tea.” Arthur started, and Merlin laughed, “What was it?”

“It was an earl grey tea latte with lavender.” Merlin said, confidently.

“You made me try six thousand types of tea this morning, Merlin, how can you possibly know which one I’m asking about?”

“Because I know you, Arthur.” Merlin said, and there was something soft in his voice that made Arthur’s breath catch. “And I could tell you liked that one the best.”

“You’re right - it was amazing. Subtle sweetness but strong.”

“Like you.” Merlin said, catching Arthur off guard again. What was happening? Arthur was beginning to feel completely out of his depth, and _he_ was supposed to be the one doing the wooing! “Where are you?”

“Walking home.” Arthur said, looking around himself to see how much further he had to go, “Not long now. Before we continue I wanted to congratulate you on your subtle charms.”

“My what?” Merlin laughed, and Arthur could hear their balcony door opening - Merlin must be standing outside.

“I've been thinking about your hands all day.” Arthur admitted, letting his voice go low and warm. “That was very well done, is all.”

There was a long silence during which Arthur walked the last hundred meters towards their back alley. Finally, Merlin spoke in a whisper, “I've been thinking about the way your neck moves when you swallow.”

Arthur turned the corner and he could see Merlin leaning on the balcony, watching for him. The light spilling out of their open balcony door surrounded him like an aura. Arthur cleared his throat. “Would you like to join me for dinner on Friday, Merlin?”

“I would love to.”

[--]

“Thanks for dinner.” Merlin said, as the waiter left with the paid bill, “I didn't expect somewhere this fancy for our first date.” Merlin looked around, gesturing at the tuxedo clad waitstaff and the ostentatious chandeliers.

“It's a tough one, you see, because we've been out to eat together before, haven't we? So all of my normal haunts are out.” Arthur said, truthfully, worrying Merlin would sense the truth underneath the statement, but Merlin smiled, and Arthur relaxed.

“Your normal haunts?” Merlin said, his head tilted. “You're telling me you've already taken me _everywhere_ you take your lovers?”

“Well, I have been taking you to dinner for years, so, yeah, pretty much everywhere. Shall we walk home? There's a good park not too far from here that's lovely this time of night.”

“Lead the way.” Merlin said, rising from the table and motioning for Arthur to step ahead of him. Arthur walked out of the restaurant and down the road then turned them onto a side street. As often happened in London, the volume of the city turned down as soon as they gained the tree-lined seclusion of the residential road. Merlin looked up into the branches of the trees, their lengths studded with young leaves that hadn't yet reached their full potential, and smiled.

“It's a beautiful night.” Merlin said, turning his smile onto Arthur, who didn't smile back. He'd been caught off guard by something indescribable and he felt unmoored, again. “Arthur?” Merlin's smile vanished and he stepped closer to Arthur, hand going to grip Arthur's arm. “Are you alright?”

“I'm fine.” Arthur tried to reassure him, but he knew his smile must look fake. He decided on a small truth, “I just realised this is going to be more difficult than I imagined.”

They walked on in silence for a few minutes, Arthur leading the way without speaking. Eventually they arrived at the tiny park Arthur had been heading for. Though it was only a short walk from their flat he could tell by the look on Merlin's face that he'd never been here before. Arthur watched him wander, eyes wide and delighted, and he tried, he _tried_ to separate himself away from the truth. He was in love with this man, and had been for years. He was going to be dating this man for the next few months, and he had to find a way to do it without making his true feelings obvious. Or, conversely, he had to admit his true feelings and risk losing everything.

“You seem far away.” Merlin said, stepping beside him and looking worried. Arthur only shook his head. “I said at the beginning of this arrangement that I didn't expect a sexual component, if you're worried about me trying to kiss you at the end of the night.” Merlin laughed, and Arthur tried to.

And then something inside of Arthur kind of gave way, and he simply stopped caring. He stopped worrying about the what-if’s and the why's, and all he thought about was how Merlin's cheekbones looked almost lethal in the dark shadows of the night. Arthur reached up and cupped his hand around Merlin's face, his thumb running over Merlin's cheek.

“May I kiss you?” Arthur asked, his voice uncertain.

“You don't need to…” Merlin started, but Arthur moved his thumb to Merlin's lips, stopping his ability to continue.

“I do need to,” Arthur said slowly, and he stepped closer, “If you'll let me.”

Merlin smiled softly and nodded. There were no fireworks when their lips met. It wasn't a resettling of the Earth’s axis or an aligning of the stars, it was an exhalation of a years-held breath, the reoxygenation of the inhale bringing desperate relief.

There was no shyness on either side - they were fulfilling a contractual obligation of sorts, after all. Merlin had requested that Arthur treat him like a lover, and Arthur was doing just that. He hoped that was what Merlin was thinking, anyway. They moved slowly, testing the waters, each of them aware of the many lines around them all waiting to be crossed. Arthur was the first to pull away, looking into Merlin's eyes and smiling.

“This park’s much nicer than I remember.” Arthur said, taking Merlin's hand in his and turning to walk home.

“The company helps.” Merlin said, squeezing Arthur's hand.

They walked the short distance to the flat in comfortable silence, and when they got to the door Arthur took a few steps back, letting go of Merlin's hand.

“What are you doing?” Merlin asked, pulling out his keys.

“Dropping you off.”

“Don't be daft, you live here.” Merlin said, his head tilted.

“I have had a wonderful time, Merlin. Thank you for accompanying me this evening. Perhaps we could do this again sometime? Next Friday?” Arthur said, not looking away even though Merlin was starting to look as though he thought Arthur had lost his mind. Arthur couldn't go up with Merlin now, not without showing his hand, he just didn't trust himself. After a few tense moments Merlin gave in and smiled, then stepped back into Arthur's space, leaning down the barest inch to kiss his cheek softly.

“I would be honored. Thank you for tonight, Arthur, it's been magical.” Then Merlin left Arthur standing on the pavement outside their home.

Arthur went back to the park and sat on a bench until it was too cold to stay still any longer, then he returned home. Arthur stood in the unlit flat for a few minutes outside Merlin's closed bedroom door, wondering whether he'd fucked everything up beyond saving and wondering whether it had been worth it.

When he went to bed a few minutes later with the feel of Merlin's lips on his so fresh in his memory he decided that it had been worth it, regardless of what happened next.

[--]

Arthur barely saw Merlin over the weekend, and he couldn’t decide whether he was making himself scarce or whether Merlin was. It was perfectly understandable for either of them to be feeling a little bit uncomfortable around each other now, but Arthur couldn’t help feeling a little morose as well, and he spent the weekend in a self-doubting fog which had failed to clear by Monday morning.

This feeling was made worse by the fact that he slept through his alarm and therefore didn’t have time to meet Merlin at the cafe before work. And made worse still by his boss sending him to Newcastle for a series of meetings, meaning he would be away until Thursday afternoon.

Rather than texting Merlin, Arthur left a note for him when he came home to pack his bags before leaving. He wrote and rewrote and rewrote the message half a dozen times before he settled on _Out of town for work, see you Friday._ On his way to the station to catch the train north, Arthur felt decidedly miserable. He missed Merlin, and he hoped that his being called away for work wouldn’t be interpreted as anything other than bad timing.

In a move that was perhaps only surprising to him, Arthur found himself standing outside the building where Merlin worked, calling Merlin’s work number on his mobile.

“Merlin, it’s Arthur. Are you busy?”

“Arthur, hi! Not any busier than usual, what’s up?”

“I’m outside, can you spare a few minutes?”

“Sure,” Merlin replied, and Arthur could hear him standing at his desk and rearranging things, punching keys on a keyboard, “Is everything OK?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to see you.”

“I’ll be down in a sec.” Merlin said, then disconnected the call. Arthur paced back and forth outside the entrance to the building. The bloke on the security desk kept giving him strange looks, but relaxed when Merlin came out to meet him.

“Hey, Arthur, what’s wrong?” Merlin asked, stepping beside Arthur and pulling his arms close around him to guard from the wind - he hadn’t bothered to put on his coat.

“Nothing, it’s just… I have to go to Newcastle for a few days for work,” Arthur said, and then he was suddenly speaking the truth again, despite his careful planning, “And I didn’t want to leave without seeing you.”

“If you’re worried about Friday, you don’t have to…” Merlin said, shaking his head. Arthur took a step closer, now well within Merlin’s sphere of personal space.

“You misunderstand me. I didn’t want to leave without seeing you.” Arthur repeated, letting his eyes study Merlin’s face as though committing it to memory. Merlin began to blush under Arthur’s concentrated gaze, and then he smiled, slowly, and it was everything Arthur wanted to see. Arthur stepped too close to Merlin to be considered entirely proper and leaned in to whisper in Merlin’s ear. “I’m glad I stopped to see you. I’m going to carry that smile with me while I’m gone, and every time I think about it I’ll wish I were still standing here beside you.”

Arthur brushed his lips gently against Merlin’s cheek and then hoisted his bag over his shoulder and turned to leave. Merlin caught the sleeve of his coat as he stepped away and Arthur turned back. Merlin was a vision, windswept, blushing, biting his bottom lip. “May I kiss you, Arthur?” Merlin asked, and his voice wavered as though from nerves.

“Please.” Arthur said, and he closed the space between them.

[--]

Arthur waited to hear Merlin’s alarm clock before he called. When Merlin answered his voice was soft.

“Call off work.” Arthur said, listening to hear Merlin breathing or laughing across the corridor and not just on the phone. He could picture Merlin, confused, rolling onto his back, knees bent, bed covers riotous, rubbing his eyes sleepily and, hopefully, smiling.

“Do we have plans?” Merlin enquired, and Arthur could hear the rustle of him stretching and imagined the flex of skin beneath fabric. He swallowed and exhaled.

“I'd like to.” Arthur replied. “Meet me in the kitchen in half an hour?”

“I haven't agreed to anything yet.” Merlin chuckled.

“You will.” Arthur said, then disengaged and rose to shower and dress. When they were both ready they met in the kitchen.

“What are we doing, then? Our date isn't supposed to be until tonight.” Merlin smiled like he knew something Arthur didn't, which was, admittedly, beginning to be the norm.

“I couldn't wait.” Arthur smiled, “Breakfast first, then I'm taking you somewhere. After that I have nothing else planned.”

“Breakfast first, then.” Merlin said, walking towards the door. Arthur caught the back of his sleeve and tugged Merlin to face him, looking Merlin briefly in the eye before scrolling down to Merlin’s lips. Arthur kissed Merlin slowly, letting how much he'd missed him seep gently between them.

 “I'm sorry,” Arthur said as they pulled away, “I couldn't wait.”

 “Breakfast second, then, actually.” Merlin laughed, dragging Arthur by the hand out their front door. A few moments later they stood, stymied, watching out the door of their building. It wasn’t just raining, it was chucking it down. Torrential, sheeting rain. Why hadn't he checked the weather? They couldn’t very well go to Primrose Hill in this rain. Damn.

This must be what Merlin’s knowing smile was about. He had one of those apps on his phone that predicted weather to the minute. Arthur glanced over to see Merlin grinning smugly, and instantly changed his plans for their day. “Right, Plan B. I’m going to go get us food and tea. You go back upstairs, drag out the blankets, and queue up that film you’ve been bugging me to watch for the last million years. Deal?”

“Arthur, you can’t go out in that, you’ll get soaked!” Merlin said, holding on to Arthur’s sleeve as he started out the door. Overcome with fondness, Arthur kissed Merlin again, smiling.

“I will dry. You get comfy, I’ll get breakfast.” Arthur was out the door before Merlin could stop him, running as fast as he could towards the cafe.

[--]   

“Who’s idea was it for me to go outside in that rain?” Arthur asked, grumpily, as he shed his soaking outerwear and shoes beside the front door to the flat. Merlin appeared, looking unsympathetic, and took the tea and breakfast away from Arthur, who was literally dripping all over everything within three feet.

“Yours. Go and change, I don’t want your soaking wet self anywhere near me right now.” Merlin laughed, pushing Arthur towards his bedroom. A few minutes later Arthur emerged, towelling his hair dry. Merlin was sitting on their sofa, wrapped in a blanket and blowing steam off the top of his tea which he’d transferred from the paper cup into his favourite mug - one that Arthur had bought him years ago which said THIS IS A MUG on it in bold letters. Arthur’s mug, which had, likewise, been a gift from Merlin, was black, with #BOSS written on it in gold. Arthur settled beside him, pushing himself next to Merlin’s warm body.

They slowly munched on pastries and drank tea while they watched the film together, the rain saturating the world outside. Arthur revelled in the feel of Merlin beside him, of this innocent closeness. They could be lovers, yes, but they could also just be the friends they’d been for years. It was nice to be not be constantly worried about the blurring lines that surrounded them on every side.

When the film finished Merlin turned the television off and they talked about the film for a long time. Merlin had desperately wanted someone to talk about this film with for years, and Arthur, who had enjoyed the film, was quite happy to oblige. After all topics were exhausted, Merlin turned to Arthur, his face lopsided and regretful. “I’m sorry if your day was ruined by the rain. I know how much you love a plan.”

“My only real plan was to spend as much time with you as possible.” Arthur said, smiling. Merlin reached out and took Arthur’s hand, and the soft smile on his face made Arthur never want to stop looking at him.

They moved together, Merlin swinging one leg over both of Arthur’s and sitting astride him, looking down, eyes warm and happy. Merlin’s mouth tasted like chocolate and earl grey tea, their kisses gentle and lazy. Their hands occupied themselves mapping the lines of each other with neither urgency nor hesitation.

When Merlin pulled away, his eyes were closed, and he swallowed slowly, as though uncertain.

“Arthur,” Merlin began, and fear swelled within Arthur because with that one word, Merlin sounded like he was saying goodbye, “I want to thank you for living up to your half of the bargain so well. I know you've barely even gotten started, and I've never in my life felt so important or valued.” Arthur softened a little, fear subsiding, and Merlin kissed him slowly, as though afraid of breaking something - whether Arthur or himself, Arthur couldn’t guess. When Merlin pulled away Arthur felt the sigh of cold air between them like a vacuum. “I’m afraid,” Merlin continued, eyes down, his voice thin and fragile as an icicle, “I’m afraid that I’m falling in love with you, Arthur. I want to end the agreement we made, because I’m afraid if we continue any longer I won’t be able to find my way back.”

Merlin cleared his throat and looked back up at Arthur, his eyes earnest. Arthur smiled and cupped Merlin’s face with his hand, then he kissed Merlin and it wasn’t a lazy kiss. It was fiery and fierce and desperate and obviously the first step towards _more_. Merlin moaned, and Arthur felt an untying inside himself like a balloon being sent towards the stars, his hands pulling Merlin closer, Merlin’s back arching, both of them slightly breathless. Arthur braced himself and lifted Merlin, turning to lay Merlin down on the sofa and rising above him, one leg between his thighs. Arthur pulled away and Merlin’s face was beautiful and surprised and scared and uncertain.

“You asked me to treat you like I treat my lovers. To make you feel special. I agreed because you seemed so vulnerable, but I always knew there was going to be trouble down the line.”

Merlin closed his eyes, wrinkles appearing on his forehead. “I know. I know, and I’m sorry. I should never have…”

“Please let me finish.” Arthur interrupted, wishing Merlin would open his eyes. It was as though Merlin had braced himself for an impact that he knew was going to be painful. “I knew I would never be able to treat you like one of my lovers because none of them have ever mattered to me.” Arthur continued, then decided that made him sound awful and tried to clarify, “I’m not saying I didn’t care for them, that I’m not fond of them, because I am. But they never mattered to me. All these years I've had two firm rules. One, they are never allowed in our home. Two, I will always return here after being with them, regardless of the hour. I have these rules for a reason, Merlin, and that reason is you. They aren't allowed in our home because it's ours. Yours and mine and nobody else's. I don't want you to meet them because I have such trouble sharing you. And I always come home because, as much as I might be fond of them, you're the only one who matters to me. The only one who has ever mattered.”

Merlin’s eyes were open now and he looked stunned, like he couldn’t believe the words coming out of Arthur’s mouth. He looked as though he was going to speak but Arthur stopped him, his fingers firm on Merlin’s lips.

"You’ve just told me that you want to bring our agreement to a close because you're worried that you might be falling in love with me.” Arthur paused here, surprised at how hard it was to voice the secret that he’d held onto for so long. In the end he just closed his eyes and spoke, “I didn’t want to start the agreement in the first place because I was afraid you might discover that I already am in love with you. That I have been in love with you for years.”

"How can you be? You’re ARTHUR, and I’m just… Just…”

“Merlin.” Arthur said, sighing out the name with all the emotion he had held back for so many years. Merlin looked up at him then, his eyes surprised, seeming to finally understand what Arthur was saying. Then he pulled Arthur to him and kissed him deeply.

[--]

When they got to the cafe Gwen rushed out from behind the counter and embraced them, standing on tiptoes to kiss them both on their cheeks. She gestured wordlessly at the table by the window, and Merlin blushed down to his toes. There were flowers and balloons, and a sign that said Happy One Year Anniversary Arthur & Merlin, embellished with hearts and glitter and everything. Just in case they had forgotten the date. It had been one year since their tea tasting morning, and even though they had both explained to Gwen that they hadn’t officially started dating until a few weeks after that, she didn’t care. That was the day everything had changed, she said, and that was what she counted. So they sat by the window and drank tea together, watching rain fall in sheets outside, feet entwined under the table, their smiles shy somehow, even after everything.

**Fin.**


End file.
